What can we say? It has been an inordinately long time since we posted an episode-yes we received all of your e-mails too, by the way. Everyone at Shatplan would like to apologize for our respite and assure you that we'll be more prolific in the upcoming months. There are oodles of pretexts that we could shovel into your craniums, but we won't. To be honest, everyone kind of needed some rest and we took it-- so there earthling bitches. But guess what? You are here for a damn good reason, that reason isn't to hear us whine about last year. No, it's because we've published a new one, fuckers. In this episode the boys were at a local haunt to ring in the new year, and boy did they have fun. Along with injecting unsuspecting horny drunk broads with their s.t.d.'s they imparted a metaphysical medley. Ristopher began the show with a story of a spirit from down south of the border way. After that Rios exited his makeshift booth for a minute to impart a dandy of chimerical cryptid proportions.Before shaking his semen purse to the dance floor Brucie had one police woman's account of some supersonic silvery bipeds. Sure to entertain your earholes and your genitals alike, take a gander and tell a friend. We appreciate you listening and prepare yourself for a year filled with ShatteredPlanet broadcasting. Oh yeah, about the episode photo.It contains Brucie and Rios in masks, and Ristopher blasted out of his gourde on p.c.p. All got laid and the gene pool is worse of for it. Thank you.
Love, The ShatPlan Crew
Brucie is a rump ranger
Problem: You're an entity that can only flourish and replicate in an environment with very specific temperature,humidity, and geographic perimeters,but you're physically unable to perform the necessary legwork to procure an exact locale within those boundaries.
Solution:hijack a host's body that is capable of getting you what you need.That is exactly what one madman intended recently and we have lined up a special episode to deliver our audience the particulars of his maniacal stratagem of world domination.This show is a deviation from our usual format in that it is a reenactment rather than our paranormal newscast.Tonight our program comprises some unusual circumstances that arose in a little town here in the states. Tune in and get a taste of the seedy underworld of biological warfare by way of zombie-- In this the inaugural chapter of Frighteepoohs
Welcome fans to your favorite internet broadcast that is officially banned on at least 400,000 planets in the immediate galactic vicinity.Thank you for deciding on anesthetizing your intellect with our pseudo insight once again.In this episode our jeesh was on the left coast accumulating some dazzling certitude for their faithful.First off, our newly ousted ansible operator/ hoary official with eons of electronic experience (Billy Rios) prepared another mediocre obscure movie review that nobody will give a shit about. Next, our emcee Bruce Holland threw in a few homosexual whimpers here and there to spice things up.There was also a short-lived cameo by a cybernetic douche bag named Martin Caidin.Last, but not least, our resident kitty clouting buffoon and birdbrained automotive technician published some beastly illumination.Download the shit outta this fucker and we'll knock your fucking dicks in the dirt.Ooh yeah, there was another pubescent pussy-of-a-guest in attendance as well.He had some paranormal who gives a poop conte and his name was Xander Wiggin.Trust us, this show is as fun to listen to as it was producing.
Welcome fans to Arkansas, the most monotonous piece of dirt in the contiguous United States. It was rather burdensome to dig up much on this humdrum shithole , but never fear!!! Shatplan rolled in and found some real gems for you so prepare yourself for an imaginative concoction of super-ordinary perfection. Ristopher, and his heart broken ass, bruited a doozy of cryptozoological proportions, while annoying us with matters of lost purple fuzz love. Rios was in dazzling attendance and delivered platinum in the form of a movie review. Last ,and certainly least, was Brucie's tale of otherworldly encounters. Thank you for listening and take heed as these a-holes make the best of a crappy stay in hicktown.
Well, once again we must beg your clemency for the dilatory nature of this episode. One of the hosts of your treasured transcendental transmission went all wisenheimer with Arizonan authorities and got the crew expatriated- to Mexico nonetheless!!! Lamentably this thwarted the usual alacritous distribution of our show, to this we cry pardon. If you do forgive us and listen, in spite of our effronterous laggardness, you are guaranteed to enjoy.This show was conducted around the Arizona/Mexican border and contains: Mexican alien abduction,La Llorona Underground Lizard folk, American ex-patriot smuggling, and a whole shitload more.OH yeah,the boys will be continuing their trek, alphabetically, across all 50 United States, next stop in Arkansas.They wanted me to thank you for your continued support earthling bitches.
Why hello earthling bitches!!!! First off,we apologize for the dilatory nature in the release of this episode. As you know, the boys are in the throws of their multi-state excursion resulting in delayed transfer of audio files to the production department."So what" you ask? Well, that means the people that assemble the show have nothing to assemble until the boys pass the audio onto us, so consequently, you fucks have to wait longer than usual to get your favorite paranormal podcast--so there you fuckers!! Goddamnit here it is!! In this show you will find Goblins shape-shifting into ethereal Ninja Baboons and then attacking school girls, breaking news from the Andromeda counsel,the Reed Family abductions, possessed Gypsy Dolls (minus members), and exceptional new NDEs from February.Thank you once again for allowing shatplan to damage the few good brain cells left residing in your cranium.
P.S. Thank you B.G. and A.W. for your continued contribution to Shatplan. Without your tireless effort we would probably be a much better transmission-and indubitably more original.
P.P.S The shatplan crew continues their quest to expose the underworld with the next stop in their journey being Arizona.Be sure to tune in.