In a world where vile, evil men rule the known galaxy, comes a tale of horror on an epic scale. Our film begins, out in the depths of space, aboard a commercial ship called Nostromo. It’s on a steady course back to Earth with twenty million tons of cargo in tow. The seven-member crew is abruptly awakened from their stasis by the onboard computer in order to investigate a transmission coming from a near by planet. Since they are corporate minions with the freedom of a Walmart greeter, they do as they are told...
Lethal Weapon begins as I feel every film should begin, with a hot, blonde woman, high on drugs and low on clothing. Unfortunately, this topless woman has issues, much as most of the women that I have dated, and throws herself off a building, killing herself and breaking the heart of her plastic surgeon. It’s ok though, because like most whores, she was dead on the inside already...
It’s Christmas in the McCallister house. A family of smug and condescending suburbanites prepares for their trip to France, where they will learn how to sharpen their smug condescension from the experts. Kevin McCallister (played by Macaulay Culkin), a boisterous towheaded 8 year old causes trouble with his family, culminating in the spilling of a soda and the forced vomiting of an entire large cheese pizza...
Film. The final frontier. These are scenes of Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Its mission: to placate fanboys and shut Gene Roddenberry the hell up. The movie starts with a giant energy cloud in space destroying everything in its path. It was totally already done in episode # 2x18, The Obsession. Three Klingon Birds of Prey investigate. Two get blown up and the other then tries to retreat before they too meet Kahless in Stovokor. Wait, retreat? What the hell kind of Klingons are we dealing with? Qapla, indeed...
Moonraker, AKA “Bond In Space”, is the eleventh James Bond film and starts with the Moonraker space shuttle being stolen, in flight, from the top of a passenger jet. If an airliner can fucking carry a space shuttle with no problem, then why the fuck do they need to charge $35 for our checked luggage? Keeping with the flight theme, we next see our grandfather, I mean James Bond, in a luxury jet. A fight ensues and Bond and Jaws, the only likable character from Happy Gilmore...
LTMR Hindsight is a series of podcasts that allows for a more in depth discussion about an area of film that we often don't get to talk about when discussing an individual film. For our seventh episode of LTMR Hindsight, we prepare for the release of the James Bond films, Skyfall, by looking back at all of the James Bond themes from all the official James Bond films since 1962. Last month, Garth Franklin of Dark Horizons ranked and published all the James Bond themes (sans Skyfall), for worst to best...
