Your mother brought you up to have good common sense. No matter how much fun someone tells you it will be, and how much it will change your life, you would never walk across burning hot coals in just your bare feet. Of course not. You would, however, do a bungee jump dangling from a rickety crane in a parking lot in Mexico after a few shots of tequila.
It might be worth it to go to a restaurant you're not terribly fond of to each cubed meats and vegetables if you were able to grill your wife's friend about her sex life when she was married to a Gay man. Hell, it might even be worth paying for the whole dinner. Suddenly, iceberg lettuce with strange orange salad dressing got a whole lot more interesting.
If you want to take your baby to Hooters to celebrate Mother's Day just because they have $10 off Mom's meal when you bring your children...that's on you. It's probably safe to say that the church ladies in the mall parking lot with Grandma, the Mom and the 4 month old baby probably don't care that they can save $10 when the scantily clad girls in underwear and tank tops serve them sliders with blue cheese. You'll probably get what you deserve for that transgression anyway.
It's important to be a good role model for our kids and to help our community. When someone needs a helping hand, it's an opportunity to set a good example by doing whatever you can to reach out and help. It's in that spirit that we're gathering friends and family together to help us send 100 cases of Clorox Urine Cleaner to Connecticut to help clean up the hundreds of jugs of urine that the State doesn't know what to do with.
There's nothing like some comfort food to make you feel all warm and happy inside. Fresh out of the oven chocolate cookies, a steaming plate of homemade macaroni and cheese or a piping hot chicken pot pie. It seems almost impossible to screw that up, unless you decided to use the generic, dented can of vegetables with botulism oozing out, topped it off with a cup of black pepper, and then served it all wrapped up in a frozen Pillsbury croissant the size of a football. Delicious.
Everyone has price. So what if you have to walk around on a disabled cruise ship for a week with feces up to your ankles and no chance of getting soft-serve ice cream 'round the clock for the entire week. Throw in a good, heavy period with no tampons or pads, so that you have to walk around wearing a red bag like a diaper all week. Give me two or three free cruises plus $500 and we'll call it even. But...I am going to need a balcony upgrade.